It Would Have Been..

‚ÄčIt would have been almost time for you to be born. You would have been positioning yourself to come into this world. I would have been feeling your movements inside my body.

It would have been almost time for me to hold you, stroke your hair, stroke your hand and kiss your cheek. 

Almost time for me to smell the new baby smell and hold you tight. 

It would have been almost time for me and your daddy to wake up in the middle of the nights to feed you and make sure you are taken care of. To rock you back to sleep. 

It would have been almost time for so many more wonderful things for you and for us. 

But it isn’t almost time. You have been gone for 7 months now. You are no longer with me, but I am still in agony. I lost my smile, my joy when you left and I still don’t know where to find it. I don’t want to replace you, because you are not replaceable. You are still my first child. 

Although, I haven’t gotten to know you as I wish I could have you are still my little guy and forever shall you be.